Instant Messaging (IM)

How can I make it safer?

Setting things up…

  • Check to see that adolescent's Instant Messaging (IM) program is set up so that no one can begin speaking to her/him without their permission.
  • Know adolescent's passwords, screen names, and the friends they are communicating with online.
  • View adolescent's IM logs.
  • Monitor adolescent’s use of webcams as well as the posting and exchanging of pictures/videos online.

Important discussions to have…

  • Explain to adolescents where it is appropriate for them to have privacy (e.g. confiding in close friends face to face, writing in a paper journal, in their bedroom, etc.). Reinforce that there is no privacy on the Internet, as the Internet is a public place.
  • Explain to adolescents that once they send pictures or information over the Internet, control over what happens to these pictures or information is lost. Teach adolescents to be mindful of what they send online.
  • Teach adolescents that it is illegal for people to manufacture, possess or distribute naked or sexually explicit pictures of children under 18 years of age. Explain to adolescents that they need to tell a safe adult if they are presented with this situation.
  • Teach adolescents that it is illegal for adults to offer gifts or money in exchange for sexual activity.
  • Discuss with adolescents the concept of dignity and self-respect and how it can be preserved or destroyed by messages sent online.
  • Discuss with adolescents the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships.
  • Explain to adolescents that they should never meet with someone in person that they first met online without a parent or guardian.
  • Discuss with adolescents high-risk behaviour both online and offline and create 'what if' scenarios together to help them recognize dangerous situations and practice responses.
  • Encourage open communication and be aware of adolescents' sensitivity to social judgment. They may be hesitant to share personal experiences.
  • Suggest to adolescents that they review Respect Yourself, a website designed to teach teens about the risks they face when sending pictures or videos by email, IM or by posting them online. This site guides teens through the risks and provides them with strategies to help keep them safe.