Real Life Stories

Luring by Text

A 14-year-old girl was engaging in text message exchanges with an individual purporting to be a 15-year-old boy. The male was apparently attempting to lure the girl to meet him in Kingston, four hours away from her hometown. The girl had met him on "Speed Date" and was planning to run away with him. Following an investigation by Kingston Police, a 20-year-old man was arrested and charged with luring and four other charges related to breaching probation. The man was known to the police as he had just been released from custody after being convicted of physically assaulting another girl that he had met on the Internet. In addition, the accused was wanted in three provinces for charges including sexual assault and threats against a girl whom he had met on the Internet and then moved in with.

What does this mean?

Sexual offenders can lure, manipulate and victimize adolescents via text messaging. With cell phones and texting, personal boundaries can be crossed quickly, and very personal, sometimes sexual comments or questions can be raised. This is further complicated by adolescents being connected and reachable 24 hours a day on their cell phones.

What can I do?

  • Monitor adolescent’s cell phone use.
  • Teach children that not everyone is who they say they are, and that people can be older or younger than what they say they are.
  • Teach adolescents about the public nature of text messaging. What they text to someone can be shared with anyone. To avoid potentially uncomfortable situations, stress the importance of being very careful about what they include in a text message. Stress that adolescents should never send personal information or pictures/videos of themselves from their cell phones.
  • Explain to adolescents that they should tell a safe adult if threatened over the phone or through a text message to do something they don’t want to do, or if someone is making them feel uncomfortable.
  • Teach adolescents to trust their instincts — if they feel a situation is potentially unsafe, it probably is.
  • When signing an adolescent's cell phone contract, consider not signing up for mobile browsing, text messaging or email capabilities. Also consider a cell phone which does not have a built-in camera.
  • Learn how to block calls/messages from unwanted users on adolescent's cell phone.
  • Limit the amount of time adolescents spend on their cell phones.
  • Explain that they should never meet in person with someone they first met online or through texting without a parent or guardian.
  • Check out our Popular Activities section for more information on technologies being used by adolescents and how to make them safer, and our Manipulative Relationships section to learn more about subtle forms of manipulation and how you can talk to adolescents about these.