Tools for parents

What can parents of 10- to 11-year-old children do to help keep them safe?

• Reinforce that the Internet is a public place like the store, the neighbourhood, the playground or going to someone's house and set the expectation that you will monitor them online to increase their safety.
• Reinforce household guidelines for Internet use and set limits on the amount of time spent online.
• Use parental controls on your computer.
• Help them find safe ways for privacy (offline diary, notebook, talk to friends face-to-face)
• Teach them to be careful with whom they share their private thoughts, and to consider how it could be misused.
• Ensure that children are not communicating in chatrooms as they are typically unregulated.
• Teach them to also respect their friends' personal information including pictures. These should not be shared without their friends' permission. Talk about the importance of valuing their own and other's personal information.
• Provide adult supervision for instant messaging (i.e. MSN, AIM, Yahoo!, etc.), emailing, online games and their chat components. Know and check regularly all of your children's contacts on their buddy lists.
• Explain to children that there is no need or urgency to respond to messages that someone sends them. Teach children not to respond to messages that make them feel uncomfortable, scared or unsure and to tell a safe adult. Also teach them to take a leadership role and not forward inappropriate messages about others.
• Know your children's passwords and screen names.
• If exposed to inappropriate material online (i.e. sexually explicit, violent, etc.), teach them to tell a safe adult.
• Review the difference between a Keep and a Speak secret. A Keep secret is harmless and will eventually come out, like a birthday present; a Speak secret is one that children are told never to tell, like being threatened by someone or a secret about touching or picture-taking. They need to tell a safe adult about Speak secrets.
• Ensure they always get your permission before sharing personal information or accepting anything. Teach them what is meant by personal information and where on the Internet they may be asked for it.
• Online profiles should be set up with adult supervision. Ensure screen names and nicknames are nondescript and do not reveal true interests, age, gender or contain pictures.
• Webcams should only be used with direct parental supervision and pictures should only be accepted and sent with parental permission.
• Explain that once a picture is sent online they lose control of what is done with it. The picture may never be completely removed from the Internet. Explain that information can be misused by some people so it needs to be protected.
• Spend time with your children and know what they are doing online and offline.
• Discuss the concept of anonymity on the Internet - people can pretend to be anyone.
• Talk about friendship: what it is and isn't. Explain that new friendships started online need to be adult supervised and that children should never meet someone in person they met online without an accompanying parent.
• Teach them to incorporate personal safety strategies into their daily lives to reduce risks both online and offline.
• Teach them assertiveness skills.
• Communicate openly, listening and acknowledging feelings.
• Ensure that they have at least one safe adult they can talk to (e.e. a parent, aunt, grandparent, teacher, etc.).

What can parents of 11- to 12-year-old children do to help keep them safe?

• Closely monitor their increased independence.
• Reinforce that the Internet is a public place like the store, the neighbourhood, the playground or going to someone's house, and set the expectation that you will monitor them online to increase their safety.
• Reinforce household guidelines for Internet use and set limits on the amount of time spent online.
• Use parental controls on your computer.
• Help them find safe ways for privacy (e.g. offline diary, notebook, talking to friends face-to-face, etc.)
• Reinforce the importance of being careful with whom they choose to share their personal thoughts and information, and considerating how it can be misused.
• Reinforce the importance of respecting other's private information.
• Provide adult monitoring of online activities.
• Explain to children that there is no need or urgency to respond to messages. Teach children not to respond to messages that make them feel uncomfortable, scared or unsure and to tell a safe adult.
• Know your children's passwords and screen names.
• Explain to them that they may come across sexually graphic material online that is about violence and harm and not about a healthy relationship.
• Provide adult supervision for webcam use.
• Explain that once a picture is sent online they lose control of what is done with it and that it may never be completely removed from the Internet. Explain that information can be misused by some people so it needs to be protected.
• Teach them that it is illegal for people to manufacture, possess or distribute naked or sexually explicit pictures of children under 18 years old. They need to tell a safe adult if they are presented with this situation.
• Explain to children that it is illegal to threaten someone online or offline. If someone threatens them, they need to tell a safe adult.
• Reinforce the concept of anonymity on the Internet and that people can pretend to be anyone.
• Talk about healthy and unhealthy relationships. Explain that relationships started online need to be adult supervised. Children should never meet someone in person that they first met online without an accompanying parent.
• Communicate openly; listening and acknowledging feelings.
• Ensure that they have more than one safe adult they can talk to (e.g. a parent, aunt, grandparent, teacher, etc.).
• Talk to them about the kind of person they feel they are and the kind of person they want to be. Discuss positive role models and your family's values.
• Encourage involvement in offline activities and focus on their identified strengths.