Instant Messaging (IM)

How can I make it safer?

Setting things up…

  • Check to see that your adolescent's Instant Messaging (IM) program is set up so that no one can begin speaking to her/him without her/his permission.
  • Know your adolescent’s passwords, screen names, and the friends they are communicating with online.
  • View your adolescent's IM logs.
  • Monitor your adolescent’s use of webcams as well as the posting and exchanging of pictures/videos online.

Important discussions to have…

  • Explain to your adolescent where it is appropriate for her/him to have privacy (e.g. confiding in close friends face to face, writing in a paper journal, in her/his bedroom, etc.). Reinforce that there is no privacy on the Internet, as the Internet is a public place.
  • Explain to your adolescent that once s/he sends pictures or information over the Internet, control over what happens to these pictures or information is lost. Teach your adolescent to be mindful of what s/he sends online.
  • Teach your adolescent that it is illegal for people to manufacture, possess or distribute naked or sexually explicit pictures of children under 18 years of age. Explain to your adolescent that s/he needs to tell a safe adult if they are presented with this situation.
  • Teach your adolescent that it is illegal for adults to offer gifts or money in exchange for sexual activity.
  • Discuss with your adolescent the concept of dignity and self-respect and how it can be preserved or destroyed by messages sent online.
  • Discuss with your adolescent the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships.
  • Explain to your adolescent that s/he should never meet with someone in person that s/he first met online without a parent or guardian.
  • Discuss with your adolescent high-risk behaviour both online and offline and create 'what if' scenarios together to help her/him recognize dangerous situations and practice responses.
  • Encourage open communication and be aware of your adolescent's sensitivity to social judgment. S/he may be hesitant to share personal experiences.
  • Suggest to your adolescent that s/he review Respect Yourself, a website designed to teach teens about the risks they face when sending pictures or videos by email, IM or by posting them online. This site guides teens through the risks and provides them with strategies to help keep them safe.
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