Real Life Stories
It Happened so Fast!
While using an Instant Messenger (IM) program, a 12-year-old girl added someone who she did not know to her contact list. Within 10 minutes, the suspect requested that the child go on webcam, made sexual comments to her and asked her to show her bra.
What does this mean?
Sometimes children/youth may accept friend/buddy requests from people they don't know in person. Sexual offenders may hijack IM accounts and attempt to coerce children/adolescents to send nude or partially-clothed images.
What can I do?
- Set the expectation that you will monitor your child's IM activities.
- Know your child's login information for their IM account, and review your child's IM logs.
- What username has your child given her/himself? Does it provide any identifying characteristics about her/him or her/his hobbies (e.g. shygirl, bookworm, etc.)? Make sure that your child's username doesn't give away any personal information (e.g. ages, gender, location, etc.) or characteristics (i.e. soccer star, athlete, etc.) of your child that could be used by someone trying to start up an online conversation with them.
- Ensure that your child's IM program is set up so that no one can speak to her/him without permission.
- Teach your child about adding friends only if they have already met them in person.
- Reinforce the idea that not everyone is who they say they are online — people can pretend to be older or younger than they actually are.
- Monitor webcam use and any posting or exchanging of pictures online. Explain that pictures should not be sent or posted online without parental permission. Once sent, control over what happens to the pictures is lost. Check your child's files in "My Pictures" to see what images are being sent, received, and saved by your child.
- If your child comes across something or someone that makes her/him feel uncomfortable, explain that s/he can tell you without fear of losing computer privileges.
- Check out our Popular Activities section for more information on technologies being used by children and how to make them safer, and our Healthy Friendships and Unhealthy Friendships sections to learn more about how to speak to your children about who are real, true friends online and offline.