Real Life Stories
Sexting
Cybertip.ca received a report with regard to a 15-year-old girl who was involved in a sexual relationship with a 19-year-old man. The man was sending naked pictures of himself via text message to the girl and requesting that she perform sexual acts for him on webcam and send it to him.
What does this mean?
In manipulative relationships, adolescents can be coerced to take and send nude/partially-clothed pictures or inappropriate videos of themselves. Adolescents may not realize that photos or videos they send can be reproduced, altered, posted online or sent to others without their permission, and that once a photo or video is sent, they have no control over where it goes. Also, with cell phones and texting, youth may be exposed to sexually explicit content.
With cell phones and texting, personal boundaries can be crossed earlier, and very personal, sometimes sexual comments or questions can be raised. With this technology, relationships can progress faster than they normally would. This is further complicated by adolescents being connected and reachable 24 hours a day on their cell phone.
What can I do?
Monitor your adolescent's cell phone use.
Teach your adolescent about the public nature of text messaging. What s/he texts to someone can be shared with anyone. To avoid potentially uncomfortable situations, stress the importance of being very careful about what s/he includes in a text message. Stress that your adolescent should never send pictures/videos of her/himself from her/his cell phone.
Explain to your adolescent how experimenting in a public place like the Internet can have irreversible, embarrassing consequences.
Encourage open communication and be aware of your adolescent's sensitivity to social judgment. S/he may be hesitant to share personal experiences.
Discuss with your adolescent online and offline high-risk behaviour and create "what if" scenarios together to help your adolescent recognize dangerous situations and practice responses.
Discuss with your adolescent dignity and self-respect and how it can be preserved or destroyed by messages/photos/videos sent online.
Discuss with your adolescent the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships.
Teach them that it is illegal for people to manufacture, possess or distribute naked or sexually explicit pictures of children under 18 years of age.
Explain to your adolescent that s/he should tell a safe adult if threatened over the phone or through a text message to do something s/he doesn't want to do.
Teach your adolescent to trust her/his instincts - that if s/he feels a situation is potentially unsafe, it probably is.
When signing your adolescent's cell phone contract, consider not signing up for mobile browsing, text messaging or email capabilities. Also, consider a phone which does not have a built-in camera. Learn how to block calls/messages from unwanted users on your adolescent's cell phone.
Limit the amount of time your adolescent spends on her/his cell phone.
Check out our Popular Activities sectionPopular Activities section for more information on technologies being used by adolescents and how to make them safer, as well as our Healthy Relationships section and our Manipulative Relationships section to learn more about subtle forms of manipulation and how you can talk to your adolescent about these.