Unhealthy friendship checklist
Friendships are important for a child’s emotional and social development. As kids grow, friendships will become more and more central to their lives. It is important to talk with students about the signs of healthy friendship and the signs of unhealthy friendship. Unhealthy friendship is unfulfilling and typically feels unequal. These relationships can be a great source of stress, wearing kids down emotionally and physically. If you feel students have unhealthy friendships, you may want talk to them about how they deserve to be treated. The following checklist may help start conversations with your students about whether certain friendships are good for them or not.
Review the following questions with your students:
Signs of Unhealthy friendship may include:
- Threats -- Do any of your friends use threats to get you to do things?
- Rejection -- Do any of your friends talk behind your back, laugh at or make fun of you?
- Being Bossy -- Do any of your friends try and tell you what and what not to do? Do they get jealous or angry if you spend time with other people?
- Put Downs -- Do any of your friends yell at you, put you down, use sarcasm or embarrass you?
- Violence -- Do any of your friends play rough with you (e.g. hitting, pushing, pinching, kicking, scratching or slapping)?
- Ignoring -- Do any of your friends ignore you if they haven’t gotten their way? Do they ignore you when you have something important to talk about?
- Rumours -- Do any of your friends spread rumours about you or tell lies about things? Do they share with others private information that you shared with them in confidence?
- Guilt -- Do any of your friends try and make you feel guilty if they don’t get what they want (e.g. "You had a friend over and I was crying because you didn’t invite me.")?
Ask students what they think is a sign of unhealthy friendship
Friends Do Not... * Embarrass each other. * Pressure each other. * Put each other down. * Encourage each other to do something that could be harmful. * Act nicely to each other only when someone wants something. * Share private information shared with them in confidence.
Add your own!
These are good ideas to start thinking about unhealthy friendships. I am a leader in several local children's activities, and have raised children and grandchildren.I have a few suggestions- many children and adults can only see the negatives in the actions of the "other" person. In the info re "Teach your child what friendship is about", your child needs to be reminded that the qualities of friendship need to be part of the behaviours of both friends; and likewise in the list of "Signs of an Unhealthy Friendship", your child needs to be asked if they ever exhibit any of these unhealthy characteristics, and how that might be affecting the relationship with the friend.
Another comment re page design - it is very attractive, but when the pages are downloaded there is an awful lot of Black Ink needed to print the top and bottom "banners". My paper came out wet as it left the printer! Perhaps a more user-friendly design could be created? Just a friendly comment - I don't want to upset our developing friendship :)
good work